ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
