Define "chronic" masturbator.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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