So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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