So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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