So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
