The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
