this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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