cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
