dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
