girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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