shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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