my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
