garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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