from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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