420 ftw
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
