he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize