it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need a burrito and a hug.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
