...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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