I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
