Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Randomize
