My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
