he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
