That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
