while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
