Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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