At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
