"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize