Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
