I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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