was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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