No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
