if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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