so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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