My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
