I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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