I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Text me some of your sweat
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
