Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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