I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
