when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We had sex on a dog bed..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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