her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
