your parents love me but you hate me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
