I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
