part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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