it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
