Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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