I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
