Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
