dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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