that's an acceptable place to lick
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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