nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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