afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
