Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I believe in your delicious
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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