Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
