I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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