i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
barbara walters just said penis...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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