4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
