Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
