I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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