So gin and wine won't be happening again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
