no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
two words...techno handjob
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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