dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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