Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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