you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
