I hate your face
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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