Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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