apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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