Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
