He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
