How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
