i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
