I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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