You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize